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I’m not sure how I can reroute this blog to my new self hosted blog so I’ll post here in the meantime – new address is:
www.notmommyblog.com

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I’m unhappy with myself.  I’m no good at living in the moment, never have been, but with so many “baby” things to plan and document I find myself far removed from the fun.

I LOVE planning, it’s part of my organizer nature, but I’ve been feeling more like a facilitator of events instead of a participant.  I will spend months making things perfect for one day, and forget to enjoy the spoils of all my hard work.  I don’t enjoy attending my own parties because I’m so stressed out running around that I often times don’t get to visit with my guests.  I know that’s not uncommon, but I think my daughter might be happier with a smaller production and a more genuine vibe.

I’m also having issues with photography. I find myself being satisfied with a crappy experience as long as I got a good picture.  On the other side, I’m sad if there were no “pics to prove it” if we did have a great day.  I look back at my Flickr sets with pride because I have these amazing photos to show my daughter when she grows up.  I’m also sad, because I’m in so very few of them.  I almost never hand over the camera so I can be part of the action and be in the shots, I’m behind a lens instead of with my family.

I plan and document instead of experience and that needs to change!  Long term I think this might mean the end to overdone holidays and birthdays.  I’m trying so hard to make things “special” that I’m missing the true magic of being a kid.  I know someday my daughter will ask for a ridiculous theme or party, and then I’ll have her help me in the planning.  Until she’s old enough to know better I’m going to try to stick to some low-key honest fun.  Short term it looks like the end of my constant photography.  Sure there will be shots taken here and there (I still want proof to show her later), but I would rather build lasting memories that come from her head instead of her photo-album.

I truly hope this helps.  I’m tired of being bitter after a vacation because I wasn’t the one showing her new things or helping her ride her first pony.  Here’s to giving it a shot!  Now that we’ve got that straight, I need to load our last set of photos to Flickr LOL.

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Ever since this post on Broke Ass Bride I’ve been OBSESSED with “ombre”.  I had always adored Gwen Stefani’s dip dyed wedding dress, I just didn’t know what the technical term was called.

When Peter and I started planning our [ill-fated] wedding I lusted over the gradient colored cakes.  Then I realized there was a whole hair trend devoted to the style.  That’s it…I need that hair!  So in July (damn long time for an appointment stupid popular stylist, who I adore!) I will go to my salon and ask for this:

It’s basically saturated blond on the very end with highlights “painted” up to blend it in with your natural color and around your face if you desire more light right up front, which I do – see 2nd picture from the right.  I’ve actually toyed with the idea of doing pink tips instead of blond and maybe I’ll do that in the future, but for now I’ll stick with the blond.

Oh, and if Peter and I ever do make it to “the alter” in a bigger production than City Hall…I definitely want this cake!

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I’m entering this photo into Paper Mama’s photo challenge.  I shot this in our backyard right after Alexa was dressed for her very first Easter Egg hunt.  The day was perfect and she was still on a sugar high from her Easter Basket Breakfast :-)

This is my favorite photo of my daughter because it’s so innocent and so anonymous.  It could be anyone’s daughter, it could be any moment in time, it’s just sweet – pure and simple :-)

Some random details, this was shot with a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XS and is SOOC (aka – no editing).

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I’m back after my first week of  8 weeks to a better me from Sometimes Sweet.  Again I’m going with my own schedule and own themes..but using her time frame as inspiration :-)

Last week I had wanted to start a low carb diet, take better care of my clothes, and turn off the PC to spend more time with my guy.

• So far the diet (Atkins) is a success.  I’m down 5lbs in a week and starting to get the hang of it.
• I’ve managed to remember to pretreat all of my laundry…but I still suck at folding it before it gets wrinkled and some of it is STILL sitting in the basket not put away, ah well I’m work in progress.
• Unplugged time with the guy hasn’t gone so well.  It probably would’ve helped if I clued him in on my little project, OOOPS.

Now on to this week!

1. Health: This one will be more about my mental health.  I hate gossip but I’m sometimes guilty.  Like everyone I rationalize it away but it’s no good.  It tears families apart (there will be a post about that soon) and causes nothing but negative feelings.  My goal this week is not to utter one piece of gossip about anyone; Stranger or BFF, no one!  Basically…If I don’t have something nice to say, I don’t say it!
2. Home: I’ve been totally lazy about cleaning properly these days.  Sure, the hot spots get hit, and the cat hair is kept to a minimum, but dusting?  HAHAHA yeah so.  My goal this week is to clean one room of the house, top to bottom, each day.  Me thinks the kitchen comes first!  There are 7 days and more rooms than that, so the laundry and 2 baths will be considered 1 for this project.
3. Family: This one might be seen as a cheat, but it has to do with the gossip goal.  While it’s not gossiping when I talk about Peter it’s still sometimes negative.  My goal is not to talk badly to anyone about my guy.  We may have issues between us, but I want to be done sharing them with others.  Nothing short of breaking up for good warrants the random negative comments or “funny” complaints.  I want to be more positive dammit!!

So, tune in next week to hear how week-2 went and to find out what my next goals will be :-)