Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | August 22, 2010

Let's Do Some Math

I’ve been thinking about how far behind I feel.  How much I should have accomplished by this point in my life.  That I should have some sort of career or at least mildly successful hobby.  That I should have been able to find myself, aren’t your 30’s supposed to be easier?  So basically I’m 3 or 4 years behind.

Then I remembered, I’ve only just graduated from college 5 years ago.  In the normal world, not my version of reality, a person tends to graduate from college when they’re 22.  That means that 5 years later they would only be 27.  So maybe I’m really just in my mid-late 20’s in my head?  I’ll take 27 any way I can get it!

I took a few years off after H.S.  First I went to beauty school **cue music**, then I decided that sucked and moved off to Alabama for a few months.  When I returned I went back to community college half assed (only took 3 classes, only attended 1, LOL).  Then it all went “downhill”.  While I don’t regret a moment of the FUN, it was still a bad time in my life.  Lots of partying, lots of controlled substance, lots of debauchery, and even more dancing!  When my mother tired of the bullshit she sent me packing.  That meant I had to support myself, in NYC for fucks sake!  After a year I decided the real world was for suckers and went back home…and back to school.  For real this time.

When I reentered college I was 21, a few years older and wiser than most Freshman.  I took it  super seriously.  I was a star student (3.985 GPA bitches!).   When I graduated I was 25.  My father sometimes likes to say that “where you are when you’re 25 is where you’ll be mentally for the rest of your life”.  If that’s true I was a recent college grad painfully excited by the idea of going back to grad school soon for my Masters of PhD even.  Maybe that’s why I love the idea of being in school forever?  It might be one of the reasons the thought of being a teacher appeals to me, even though I keep fighting it.

If I think of my life in terms of being 4 years behind I get depressed….but if I think of my mind in terms of being 27 then I’m right on target, whatever that target might be.  Hell it means that, mentally speaking of course, I bought my first house at 23, had a baby when I was 25, and will be returning to the “real world” at 27.  That doesn’t sound so bad after-all.   The best part is, it frees me up to reconsider a little more education, maybe a teaching certification is in my future :-)

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Responses

  1. I didn’t really bother going to college – I myself had half-ass attempts.

    Yet, look at me now. I’m a secretary, working 9 to 5. That just proves that, if you set your mind to something, you can almost definitely get it. I wanted to be a secretary since I was 15 years old. x

  2. Yay! I went to Columbia and we have a school that is entirely for “non traditional” students (aka people who took time off to have kids/be rockstars/dance/work) and they’re the smartest freaking people in the school. I kid you not. I studied with them at every chance because we all took the same classes and they were older than me and hard working and always did way better on tests.

  3. I quit university and then went back part-time to an Associate Degree (2 years vs 3-4), so I didn’t actually finish until I was 28. And I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing with myself ;-)

  4. In the grand scheme of things, we’re still so very young. I get so freaking depressed when I compare myself either A. to my friends who never left the workforce or B. people who started blogging the same time I did (circa: early 2007) and grew themselves a lovely career. I always have to remind myself that I’m on a different path- not better, not worse, just mine.


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