Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | August 12, 2010

BlogHer – So Much More

When I registered for BlogHer I was excited by the prospect of meeting some of my blogging idols.[1. Only met 2, I am no good at invading other people’s conversations]  There are a few women I have followed since the beginning.  Well, as the date approached I started to experience more and more trepidation.  I was nervous about leaving Alexa (I was SURE she would be sleeping well by now dammit!), I was nervous about being out in public alone for an whole weekend.  I was nervous that I would feel fat and ugly and unworthy the whole time.[2. I didn’t, but some of the photos that are surfacing of me now makes me kinda wish I had sucked it in more.]  I was nervous about meeting a bunch of people who I had built up relationships, worried that they should have stayed inside of my computer.[3. No one was outright rude to me, but I did leave a few people in the computer for the most part…I opted just to stare at them from afar.]

Here’s a sorta kinda secret.  I almost sold my ticket the week before the conference.  I was in a blogging slump and just didn’t feel like I had it in me to go.  I felt like a fraud since I wasn’t sure if I’d even keep blogging once the weekend was over.  I had my 1-year itch with this account, it’s happened many times before (hello MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, etc).  When I made the decision to go, I did so knowing that this was basically a last ditch effort to get myself out of this funk…or to call it quits all together.  So I went.  My gawd am I glad I did!

While I didn’t go to as many sessions as I would have liked, the ones I did attend were amazing.[4. I attended: Writing Inspiration: Stoke Your Creativity, Geek Lab: ROYO – How to Take Great Pictures, Whether You Have a DSLR or Point-and-Shoot, Personal: ROYO – Little Fish in a Big Pond: Understanding, Accepting, and Loving Your Small Blog.]  They renewed my blogging spirit.  They reminded me of why I started writing in the first place.  FOR ME!  I started this blog to keep a running tab of my feelings during my journey as a mother, be it with photographs or words, this blog was supposed to be about me.  How did I lose this?  Somewhere along the line I got caught up in being super topic specific.  I started to fall into a more “natural parenting” blog rather than a personal one.  And really, personal is where I’m most comfortable.[6. I think there will be a bit of revamping going on here while I learn to get personal again, while being true to the parenting nature of this site.]

The best part of the conference was, by far, the people I met.  I was welcomed with open arms into a few different groups of women who I adore.  Some were bloggers I read and befriend long before BlogHer, and some were friends of friends who were equally as amazing.  I came away with a huge pile of business cards (shit I still haven’t sorted through them!) given to me by women I want to learn more about.  Women who inspired me by their acceptance and love.  Women who’s blogs are full of raw emotion, important social topics, beautiful photos, and the kindest of words.

My one and only regret was that I didn’t take more photos…of people, places, or things…or ME with these people, places, and things!  Sad Face :-(

So just to echo the thoughts of so many before me, if you’re thinking of going next year (or the year after that) just GO!  You will not regret a single second of the experience (unless you don’t take enough friggen pictures, lol).



  1. So glad you went and found your muse again! Great meeting you at People’s Party. Keep on writing!

    • Thanks! And thank you again for letting us sit with you :-)

  2. I am so glad that you went and were reminded that this blog is for YOU!! I am going to Bloggy Boot Camp in SF next weekend (my 1st conf) and I am nervous, but excited. I hope you are going to go to BlogHer 11- I am planning on going!

    • I was thinking of doing Bootcamp in Philly next month, but I don’t think I can swing another conference so soon. I am, however, seriously considering BlogHer11 since so many of my best bloggy buddies are going!

  3. I’m so glad you had an awesome time! I can completely relate to going personal. Although I’ll probably always have a parenting slant – I just can’t write 50+ posts on specific topics (like breastfeeding or co-sleeping or whatever).

    • I guess I’ve just been trying to adhere to the “rules” of blogging too much…when I’m not in it to make money. What’s the point then? I might as well do what feels right if I’m doing it for free ;D

  4. good, good, good. i’m so glad you decided to go and that you’re feeling renewed. i’ve always enjoyed what you have to say and i’d hate to see you quit. transform this place into what *you* need it to be. i’ve found that i also have a hard time writing only about parenting. sometimes, i need to write about me. or dogs. and yall are just going to have to get fucked if you can’t deal with that. reclaim your space.

    and for the billionth time, so jealous. i’ve already told my husband i’m cruising you and mandy for roommates next year. there’s no stopping it.

    • Honestly, even if I “quit” I would still be around. I would have started something up more personal but completely different. You would have been invited over anyway!

      YOU MUST BE MY ROOMMATE next year! Ok, I don’t know for sure that I’m going, but I’m thinking about it more and more. I’m going to wait a bit longer to get my ticket this time around though :-)

  5. I SO get this!!! Not that I ever considered not going after we signed up (Jen would have murdered me), but I just didn’t think I would get SO much out of it… And not JUST the sessions and the keynote speakers and all that – the entire experience just energized me and got my brain buzzing with a million new ideas – I feel supercharged!!

    It was great to hang out with you at the conference – I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone socially and I am REALLY glad that I did.

    Good luck with the changes you want to make here and maybe we’ll see you in ’11!

    : )

    p.s. you have a great writing “voice”!

    • I didn’t think it would mean this much to me either! Not.At.All! I’m so happy it turned out good though. I think, even though I was considering not going for a few days, I went in with a good additude. That can make all the difference.

      Like when I met you all, I was being DENIED for a party…errr. I could have been a bitch and just stomped off alone. Instead I tagged along and had an amazing night! SOOO rare for me to just assume strangers would be welcoming, but you were, and I so won!

      PS thanks **blushing**
      PPS you live in Jersey bitch, I better see you before ’11!

  6. So cool! Wish I could have gone. Maybe in the future.

    I’m glad you’re going to keep blogging. Your blog is on my list of faves! I am so grateful for this crazy interweb (thank you for inventing it, Al Gore) because it means I get to meet awesome people like you.

    • Maybe you’ll go next year? Or maybe you’ll just let me come visit so Alexa can play with her mini-me :-)
      I’m so lucky to have friends like you! You’re stuck with me regardless of which form my internet over-sharing takes lady ;D

  7. I’m so glad that you had a good time ;) Maybe some year I’ll be able to join you!

    • OOOH that would be awesome! It really was better than expected. Low expectations and a good attitude were a winning combo LOL.

  8. It was great to meet you in person, Amber. You are terrific! Wish I’d given you a hug before I left…next time, ok?

    • Oh thank you :-) Hugs for sure next time! Sorry I didn’t get to give you a proper goodbye. You wake up too damn early :P

  9. Here is the thing for me, I don’t really know what it’s all about except people who blog meeting each other. I guess I should do some research on it since it will be here next year. I’m just worried about being a loner. I am extremely shy IRL. Do you think you will go next year? I was jealous of some tweets I saw…the social part of it looked fun.

    • Well it’s partially that. It’s really so cool to meet people you’re internet friends with face to face. I’ve been doing that in some form or fashion since I was 15 though, so I guess it makes me a little less nervous.

      But aside from meeting all these somewhat familiar faces, it’s also pretty cool to go to a few sessions that interest you. I didn’t freak out about trying to fill out my days, and I didn’t go to sessions based on who was speaking really. I went to ones that sounded like they would renew my blogging “soul” so to speak. And they did!

      Here’s a secret, I’m pretty damn shy IRL too! Though, a few drinks helps cure that, ha. I’m seriously considering next year. I’ve always wanted to see San Diego, so Peter and I have talked a little about making it a family vacation (where he would of course find something else to do with Alexa during the conference time). Even if we don’t do it as a vacation, if the money is there I’ll most likely make it out. I would LOVE to meet up even if you don’t want to do the conference. You know you can buy a ticket to just the expo hall and the parties (half the price)? That way if you’re not interested in the sessions you can just come for the social side!

      • Okay well I like the idea of just going to the expo and parties. I actually like expos. I’m going to look into it. That would be cool if you guys all came out. Lots to do out here, and very family friendly!

        • I liked the sessions, but I don’t really feel like they were as fun as the social side. That, and I only got to see half the expo, at that, because I was always rushing off to do something scheduled. I think…IF…I go next year, I’ll do the party pass as well. I’ll keep you posted for sure, but I’m not going to plan or purchase anything until sometime this winter at the earliest. Kinda depends on me getting a job :-)

  10. AMEN! Like I said, I just had that “come to jesus” with myself and my blog after my 1 year blogiversary! Don’t it feel great!!!?!?!

    • It felt wonderful to actually get myself again!

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