Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | July 7, 2010

Post Baby Crazies

Last week I felt totally out of control.  I was being vicious with those around me…and myself.  I thought I was heading back into one of my deep depressions.  I didn’t want to do anything, be seen by anyone, and didn’t want to be talked to.  Peter and I had been at each other’s throats and of course it was “all his fault”.  It almost felt like PPD, but it’s been over a year, it can’t be that right?

Then, I started getting crampy.  I had tweeted (or posted on FB, I forget) a few days before that I felt off and wondered if my foul mood had been PMS.  I forgot about it since the cramping stopped.  I just passed off the bad mood to something that was wrong with my environment, rather than something wrong with me.

Well, the cramps came back with avengence, and then my period started.  I knew it was due, but wasn’t expecting it right that second!  Low and behold, my mood was immediately lifted.  Like the the nastiness was literally draining out of me.  Weird right?

I did some research and what I found was something called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).  While I had  certainly heard the term from all those ridiculous Yaz commercials, I had never giving it much thought, and of course never looked it up.  I just assumed that was another version of PMS that the pharmaceutical companies were pimping to sell their birth control pills.

What I found, though, fits my symptoms exactly!  Like so close to how I feel, I’m beginning to think that a lot of my issues over the past decade may have been related.  Specially the times when I’ve been off of birth control and had my “normal” body chemistry to deal with (though, the pregnancy sure took its toll on my body, so who knows).

As some of you already know, I had my IUD removed a while back…and since then have gotten my “friend” back every month.  I’ve been somewhat nasty to be around right before each period since.  This months “PMS time” was far worse than any this year.  I’m thinking that Alexa’s weaning has something to do with the abrupt change in hormones as well.  I’ve been weepy and weird ever since her nursing has decreased.

So, I took a little quiz to see if my issue fit the disorder.  I scored a big fat YES.  I’m not really sure what to do now.  We’re getting some ‘ish figured out with the behavioral health portion of our insurance, so I can’t just run off to a therapist right this second.  Also, you’re supposed to track your moods with this handy chart for a while before anyone will diagnose you anyway.  My first step will be to print this page out and start tracking.

I feel better just knowing (or really really thinking that I know) what the cause of my problems have been.  Even when it happens again next month, and I’m assuming it will, at least I know it will end in a few days.  I’ve talked to Peter about it, and hopefully he’ll remind me, kindly, that it will pass and it’s just my hormones talking.  I don’t really hate him ;D

Have any of you ever suffered from something similar?

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Responses

  1. i’m so glad you figured out a reason behind your bad feelings! that’s great hon! and i also went through a HUGE hormonal shift when i weaned poppy (the post about it is in the “mopey mommy” category of my blog.) i went through some mild depression and it leveled out naturally after a few weeks, but it was tough. and i have definitely noticed that my pms is eleven BILLION times worse than ever before since having a baby/breastfeeding/weaning – i never used to get very emotional and now? a few days before i get REALLY listless, weepy, etc. my symptoms don’t fit into the pmdd category but jeebus, it aint fun! haha! but i agree with you that knowing what to expect is a huge relief, even if it’s not a total solution.

    hugs & love to you, beautiful mama!

    cheers!

    • I can only imagine that my mental issues have taken a turn for the worse partially due to the weaning. I seriously cry at the stupidest things! I was sorta kinda worried I was preggo again last week because of all the crazy. Phew, dodged that bullet!

      I had some pretty horrid cramps when I was a teenager, that’s part of the reason I was put on BC pills so young. I’m beginning to think I might need to be back on them but I really really really wanted to let my body level out. Guess I’ll have to check back in with myself in a few months after the boobs have dried up completely and I can say, without a doubt, that everything going on is ALL me.

  2. It can be such a relief to find that there’s a reason behind how you’re feeling and knowing that there is a distinct end in sight when you are growing through it will probably make it a bit easier too.

    I used to get the worst PMS before I got pregnant – weepy and tired and just awful pain – now I don’t get anything. Probably because I’m hoping to be pregnant and in denial about any symptoms that would indicate otherwise ;-)

    • Isn’t it crazy how making another human can totally flip your body upside down? I was once pregnant when I was 19 (miscarriage) but ever since then my PMS was all weird. My boobs would hurt like crazy the week before my period. Now, since I’ve had a baby, I don’t have that one symptom at all. Though the crazy bad cramps are back from my youth. Weird bodies we have!

  3. it IS a relief to give symptoms a proper name or diagnosis. That totally sucks though. What did your Ob/Gyn say? And (non sequitur) out of curiousity, how long were you on the IUD before you started to break out on your face?

    • Sometimes just putting a name to the problem can be enough for me! I do intend on following up with this though, but I want to get that self analysis thing filled out for a few weeks first. If next month is like this one, my first call will be to my OB. Specially since I can’t get see a therapist right now due to the whole stupid insurance mix-up.

      And about the IUD. I think I noticed breakouts almost immediately, within a week or 2 I would say. Are you still having issues with yours? How long has it been now for you? I want to say you got yours in April.

  4. oh my goodness! i have thought about this a lot. i am certain that i have pmdd.

    the only times when i didn’t turn into a total monster before my period, was when was on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication, and when i was taking orthotricyclen.

    it’s terrible. i’m pregnant now, and this is a whole different kind of mess, but i always meant to have the pmdd symptoms checked out, before. i never got around to it. man, was it miserable.

    i hope you get it figured out. i do remember, i started taking l-tryptophan, which actually seemed to help quite a bit. i would start to feel like i hated everyone in the world, just so angry.

    • Did you ever talk to your OB or therapist about this? I really do not want to go back on the psychotropic drugs…or BC pills. I’ve been on just about ever antidepressant out there, and the dosage that tends to help me leaves me with some pretty icky side effects.

      Weird you should mention the L-Trytophan. I used to have friends that took 5-HTP (which sounds similar) and I always thought I should try it. I’m no good at taking herbal supplements though for some reason.

      BTW, I was kinda beastly while I was pregnant!

  5. Being able to give birth to small people IS amazing, but there are days when I would gladly give this gift to men. Like crippling your body with pregnancy isn’t enough, we also have to deal with emotional roller-coasters for years before and after children are born.
    I’ve never taken any meds but EVERYBODY knows when I have a PMS… and for those few days I just don’t want to live. Knowing that it will pass helps, but the fact that eventually this will completely stop is one of the few good things about ageing.
    I am so sorry yours is so severe… Hope you can get more help soon and I have nothing but love for you… if only that would help.

    • I’m pretty sure I’d totally let Peter do the baby making…AND breastfeeding. I’m also pretty sure he’d totally be down for it, lol!
      Yours sounds like mine, the not wanting to live. Even suckier, the cramps are worse. They’re back to how they were when I was in middle school. Like days and days of cramps instead of a few hours. I guess being on The Pill had some benefits. I’ll give it a few more months, and if there’s no relief, then back on hormones for me. I was trying to give my body a break and a chance to reset…not looking good!


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