Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | February 3, 2010

It's All Worth It

Monday we had a visit with Alexa’s great grandparents (Peter’s grandparents on his father’s side).  It was his grandmother’s birthday this past weekend and we had to reschedule our visit because I was sick on Friday.  They had met Alexa numerous other times, but this was the first time she really interacted with them.  Peter’s mother also joined us for the visit (as she and his father live just a few blocks away).

They oooh’d and awww’d over how cute she is.  It’s almost always about the way she looks (though the picking apart of her features is another story for another time).

What struck me the most during this visit was how much they commented on her temperament, making a fuss over  how well “behaved” she is.  How she doesn’t cry all the time.  How she just hangs out and plays, smiles, and is an all around pleasure to be with.  I hadn’t thought of it much before because I don’t have a ton of experience with other babies.  I just assumed she was “normal”.  Apparently not normal to them…but in a good way.  Her cousins (well second cousins, I think, I always get confused as the family lineage gets further away from immediate family) all cry…or cried…a TON.  Like ALL the time when they were around anyone other than their parents.

Maybe all this attachment parenting b.s. that I’ve been trying to follow (well in part at least) is working.  Maybe the fact that I don’t leave Alexa to cry for extended periods of time leaves her feeling calm and comfortable to explore and interact.  Maybe “parenting to sleep” and being there when she wakes gives her confidence when she’s out in the world.  Maybe, just maybe, this bitch of a year (and longer possibly) will pay off later down the road.

I’m not convinced that it’s completely my doing, but it’s still nice to hear that your child is “good“.



  1. She IS an adorable baby ;)

  2. You're doing an amazing job. I devoted so, so much time to my boys when they were babies & they're incredily secure and well-adjusted now. It's tought, but worth it.

  3. (What's up with my typos today?)

  4. She's just way cooler than all the other babies!

  5. I think you're right. When the Bambino was smaller I was pretty hardcore with the attachment parenting/co-sleeping thing. He was such a calm and happy fella. Then when I started having him sleep in his crib and started holding him less (because of daycare) I started noticing a change in temperament – probably also due to me being so busy. Anyway, I think it's great that you've stuck with it for Alexa. You're amazing!

  6. I think you could definitely be right. I too take some of the ideas from attachment parenting, and everyone comments on how calm Max is. I am always hearing how good of a baby he is, and how happy he is. I, like you thought it was normal, but after hearing, reading, and seeing other babies I know I have it good. You are doing a good job mama. Keep it up! :)

  7. Your doing a great job… Alexa is gorgeous :) All we can do is our best and what we think is right for our little ones :) I'm sure all your hard work will be well worth it!!!

  8. I'm new to your blog. I love it. Good for you for having such a CALM baby. You are very lucky and I'm sure a lot of your attachement parenting helped. Plus, you seem to make her your priority right now, which makes a huge difference. I have a 7mo.old boy and I adore him, my extra time with him is amazing and I hope helps him be similar in nature to your Alexa. COngrats to you- stick with it.

  9. I love when people tell me how well-behaved my children are. And I hate it. Sometimes it makes me think that I'm too hard on them. My boys are good boys. I hope it's not because I've crushed their little spirits!

  10. That happened to me when my kiddos were little. Now that they are toddlers…not so much;P

  11. @Wife of a Sailor – Thank you :-)@Wendi – That's great to hear. I don't have many mom friends that actually spent a ton of time with their kids when they were babies, so I don't have anyone to compare Alexa to.@Allison – HAHAHA hush :P@Restless Mama – I hope I don't see a big change in Alexa IF she ever starts sleeping in her crib. I'm actually happy to have her in bed with me, I just can't deal with many more months of her attached to my boob :P We don't have any real plans of day care in our near future (but I'm considering having my mother take care of her part time if I decide…or have to…go back to work).@Sarah – It's so weird right? I just assumed that most babies were basically happy. You keep up the good work too mama!@Lx – Thanks, and back atcha babe! @MashugaMOM – Thank you, I stopped by your blog for a second but will fully immerse myself this weekend! I think you're right. Parents that have the same mindset as me seem to have kids with the same behavior patternt. I'm happy to assume that if you're intentions are to make your baby the center of your world then they will know how loved they are right from the start :-)@Nap Warden – I'm soooooooo scared of toddler-hood!

  12. Sounds like you are an amazing mom.

  13. Thanks mama bird :-)

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