Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | January 27, 2010

What's the Opposite of Baby Fever?

Many of my bloggy friends seem to be going through some hardcore baby fever (either that, or they’re already pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd, 4th???).  I’m totally in the other camp.  I’m GOOD with one. 

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.  You see, there’s yet another HUGE consignment sale happening this spring, and I’m gathering all Alexa’s teeny tiny baby clothes to sell.  Sometimes I feel like I should be keeping them.  That I should be planning for another baby someday.  That I should want to do this again.  Then I remember….that I really don’t think I could

As Alexa’s first year is coming to an end…and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel…I just cannot see myself doing this again.  I know some people get pregnant right away so they don’t get out of the baby stage (and tease themselves with any bit of “normalcy”).  Some people wait years and years so the first child is more capable of tending to themselves for some time…and even in preschool or kindergarten.  I can’t imagine doing either.  I’m exhausted, sleep deprived, stressed, under sexed….and want a little bit of me back as soon as the babe will allow.  That said, I don’t think I would want to do this again when I’m nearing 35. 

Though…maybe it’s true and you really only remember the good once the super needy infant stage ends and you wish they were teeny tiny again.  But really, I barely have enough energy to take care of myself these days (hello 2 showers a week….ewwww….I’m super gross these days).  I cannot even fathom adding a preschooler to the current mix, let alone doing it 5 years later and OLDER. 

Not sure why I’m even thinking about all of this.  I guess giving Alexa a sibling sounds like a romantic idea.  Someone for her to play with and love….but I had a shitty relationship with my brother…and no relationship with my sisters (both roughly 10 years older than me).  We’re just gonna have to go on lots of play dates and build up friendships that are close enough to feel like family :-)

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Responses

  1. I think it's smart that you're aware of wanting to stop with one. It seems like when you have just one, people always ask, "When are you going to give her a brother or sister?" like it's your duty to provide a biological playmate for your child. I always knew I wanted another one, but we were going through some really shitty stuff and I didn't want to bring another child into a struggling marriage. And when people would ask that, it would frustrate me so badly, like having another baby was their solution to fixing things. Or like it was any of their business in the first place. And now I find myself getting comments from total strangers like, "Ugh. I can't believe you're having your kids so far apart. You should have kept it to two years apart, tops." Um, thanks. I'll hop in my time machine right now and do that just for you, person I've never met before. I guess the point is that you are doing what's best for you and Alexa. Don't feel guilty because of what other people think you should be doing. And for the tiny clothes that you might have a hard time parting with – have you thought about making (or having someone else make) a quilt out of all her cutest outfits? Julian had some crazy cute clothes that I didn't want to just give away, so I'm going to cut them all up and make a quilt. One day. Hopefully before he's 10.

  2. I'm with you: I totally don't have baby fever at all. My uterus quivers in fear when people ask "oh, so when are you having another one?" I'd far rather adopt a kid than give birth to another one. i think the quilt is a good idea. I was sad when my mom gave away all of my stuff from when I was a baby. I think Alexa would like to see how itsy bitsy she was ;)

  3. @Allison – I think what you did is perfect for your family. People need to butt out when it comes to how someone decides to space their kids out. Sometimes, I'm sure, it's nice to have kids close in age…but my mother got pregnant with my brother when I was 8 months and hated every second of it. She wanted another, but not so close together. Now you know you've had tons of quality time with your first and can focus (without guilt or pressure) pretty much solely on your newborn when she arrives! As for Alexa's clothes. I have a few pieces that I'm keeping…like her preemie outfit that she came home in (was the first outfit we bought for her). There are a few other things, like her first shoes, that we're keeping as well :-)@Claudia – I don't so much mind the idea of giving birth…or being pregnant again. I just really don't want to raise another baby :-) Like I could totally do the surrogate thing, lol. Wanna adopt mine? JK :PI don't know what happened to all my baby clothes. They were probably donated or tossed since we moved a lot when I was little. Though, I'm not really the sentimental type with things (pictures I love though :-) so I'm not too torn up about never seeing them.

  4. I have one six year old child who rocks my world. And although I worried a few years about him being an "only child" and convinced myself that he would have social problems or not be able to connect without siblings, I've come to realize that this just isn't so. He's a great kid with lots of friends and loves trying new things. He may not be the best turn-taker and likes things his own way, but, who doesn't? Why create another human being when the one you have is the most you'll ever need!

  5. @Anonymous – Thanks for sharing! Sometimes we need to hear that only children are NOT going to grow up to be social outcasts :-) So true about liking things your own way. We all want that!!! Some of us are just better at masking our disappointment (I for one am NOT, lol).

  6. Baby fever is the natural way of fighting infections. Keep in mind that a fever is a symptom and not an illness. Fever is usually affected by a viral or bacterial infection. There are so many home remedies to control or reduce fever such as garlic, ginger tea, lemon balm leaf etc. following techniques also very helpful during baby fever, take a dry cloth, dip it into the pot making it completely wet and drain out the excess water. Place it on the baby’s forehead for two minutes and repeat the process. This will help lower the temperature to a great extent. Garlic will help reduce fever. You can put several cloves of garlic in a blender to make a paste. Spread about 1/4" of the garlic paste on smooth cloth. Apply some olive oil to the bottom of your child's feet then place the garlic pasted gauze on the foot and wrap with gauze to keep in place. Do not cover the entire sole of the foot, as you still want heat to escape. Leave the garlic on for overnight.

  7. […] is, by looking up different and new names, I get all baby feverish.  Haha, remember when I said never again?  Yeah, well I said the same thing about ever having even one, so my word is so NOT my bond in […]

  8. this was my random post today so i know it’s old but i’m commenting anyway…

    two showers a week made me laugh. that’s exactly how many i take a week. i don’t think we’re gross… most days. the day BEFORE shower day might not be the best day to get in close i guess.

    …also, i’m really confused by Jhon’s comment. but i think i like it?
    .-= the grumbles´s last blog ..my favorite time these days =-.

    • HAHA, yes…the day before a shower is not the best day to snuggle all up on me :P Maybe, since it’s getting hotter here…I might have to bump it up to 3 a week though!
      BTW, never saw that comment from Jhon, interesting spam, lol.


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