Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | October 12, 2009

Identity Crisis

So I’m having an identity crisis here. Or, more of a commitment crisis. I’ve never been one to sit still and live in one area for any length of time. I’ve never been able to stay in a relationship for more than a couple of years. And jobs? Well I think my longest length of service was MAAAAYBE one full year (though, honestly…I’m not sure if I ever had an anniversary at a job). The only place I’ve ever stayed and liked it was school, well, more specifically…college.

So, imagine my concern when Peter and I decided to buy a house. That meant not moving for at least 2 years (I had moved at least once a year for the past 10 years).

Then, a year later…me…knocked up! That’s AT LEAST 18 years of “service”. ACK! So here I am, not sure how long I’ll be able to serve at this “position” and not lose it. I feel a little bit stuck. I guess that’s normal in the first year of motherhood, but it doesn’t make it any easier. It’s like…there are no more options.

I know that’s crazy talk, and things will get easier (and some will get harder) eventually. Alexa will be able to amuse herself for longer periods of time. I’ll be able to get some things done while she plays. One day she’ll learn to sleep…and maybe then I’ll get some rest. Until then…I just have to stay the course.


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