Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | September 14, 2009

Trying

God damn the last few weeks have been trying! Alexa is sleeping like shit shit shit, my supply has went to shit shit shit. I’ve broken my toe, and now pulled a ligament in the opposing knee…SHIT SHIT SHIT.

I’m utterly exhausted, completely exhausted….

Peter has been a dream though. This whole weekend he’s woken up early with Alexa (since she insists on kicking me to death at around 7:30am), and let me sleep in. I slept so hard each day that once 9am rolled around…it felt like mere moments since he took her out of the room.

Suffice to say, co-sleeping can end any day now and I would be thrilled. We spoke to our pediatrician…and she said that while she supports bed-sharing, if I’m not happy…we need to think about some sleep training. I’m not really ready for that. While Alexa is 6.5 real world months, she’s only supposed to be 4.5 months. I don’t feel like she’s mature enough to be “trained”. Maybe when she’s 6 months corrected we’ll try something. I just know that the thought of spending more than a few more months like this might do me in. Alexa needs me to be mentally stable and physically stable…more than she needs to comfort nurse all night.

We’re going to start giving her the zantac for her reflux again. She’s been off of it for a few days, and her sleep has been worse than ever. Guess she’s not ready to come off the meds yet. It’s really no bother to give it to her, she’s a medicine taking champ! I was just hoping that she had grown out of the reflux…maybe in a few more months. The Pedi suggested that we keep her on it, and don’t change anything else about our routine while we’re attempting to get Alexa to sleep in her crib. Any slight change…and annoyance really…can royally fuck up babies’ ability to sleep.

In other AP-ish talk…I’m going to try to get her back on the boobs full time. I really HATE feeding her formula…makes me feel like a failure. I know I’m not, and I did my best…tried my hardest, for a good long time…but I don’t want it to be done (and if we keep going the way we’re going…I will dry up). We had an appointment today, and she weighed in at 14.25 lbs. That’s almost a 3 lb gain in a month. Me thinks that’s a bit too much (and a sign that she’s nursing more than I had thought). Soooooo back to the fenugreek for me, lol). Another plus, is that she’s a much MUCH calmer baby when she’s exclusively breastfed :-)

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