Posted by: Amber @ NotMommy | July 31, 2009

Faith No More…Or Never Was

I was talking to an old friend today. Throughout H.S. we were inseparable. We were so much alike we could finish each others’ sentences. Somehow we lost contact for almost 10 years, and then reconnected almost 2 years ago. During that time, my dear friend had changed….a lot. She had “found god”.

I am not at all religious. Better yet, I’m somewhat against it. I can’t fathom the idea of something greater than “all of this”, of life after death, of some supreme being plotting out our lives like pawns on a chessboard.

Sometimes though, I think I would be better off if I had some faith. Maybe I would feel more at peace, if I had this obscure idea to lean back on. While I don’t need a set of written rules to keep me from killing my neighbor, or robbing a bank…maybe the sense of community that a church can provide would keep me a little more grounded, and little more connected. Once in a while I consider joining in and “converting” to something. Fake it till I make it if you will. It would certainly give my in-laws peace, ha (they’re hardcore Catholic).

While I respect that my friend has her beliefs (even if she doesn’t respect that fact that I do not share them with her)…something in the way she always mentions how “God will do what is best” or “I keep praying” for whatever…gives me a weird icky feeling.

I’ve been reading posts made by Catherine Connors of HerBadMother. The other day she wrote an entry on intercessory prayer (a term I’ve never heard before) and it struck me as really odd that, as a nonbeliever, I agreed with her. How can there be any plan if one person’s prayers hold more importance than another’s? Why would this “god”, this all knowing being, care that you want to have a child, or win the lottery?

That being said, I enjoy the study of religion as a cultural and anthropological subject. I toyed with the idea of minoring in philosophy/religion studies while in college. I was even a member of the club associated with that department. No matter my beliefs, the fact is…religion is a HUGE part of our world’s history. The blessed stories associated with any culture are wildly entertaining when taken that way…as stories.

Now I have some conflict, because Peter was raised Catholic. While we won’t be having a christening, I’m not going to bar Alexa from making up her own mind. If Peter likes…he’s more than welcome to take her to church once she’s old enough to show some interest. But…how does one share knowledge of such a touchy subject with her child without sharing their bias? Asperber21‘s posted about this topic on BlogHer Raising Religion.

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